REGRETNESS

One day, all of you will regret with what you all have done to me right now. I don't deserve to live in this world.Seriously I can't.Where have my family go?They don't even cares about me at all.I feel the same way.Bro,the same way like 10 years ago.LIFE can be miserable,sometimes those bitches don't even know my stories.What they knew was to talk shit and give those stupid comments about my life.GFYS!life as a lonely girl is normal on me.That's why I say,I like to be alone.No friends,no bother,no problems even I can't feel the happiness but the satiesfied can be feel at the same way.It just the time going to change it.Dear parents,thanks for all your kindness,the things you all bought for me and the efforts that you gave.I appreaciate it alot.But I can only say thanks.I'm not in love with all of it.There is no love towards me.I felt live is unfair.Everythings was dark and usefull.Live must be fill in with tears...................I cried while typing this.I have to go.bye.lots of love to SAPPHIRE SWARTZ

AWFUL

Damn.How could you think I did that?Dear God.I swore .It's not me.I didn't mean to be like this.Actually,where am I?where have I been for a long time?It seems like I don't even have  family either friends.My famile asked me to stay here a little longer.Do you guys know that I'm alone here.It's kinda bored.I can't study here.I hate the subjects wwhich the one is not my choices.I don't even want to be an engineer.Why people still forcing me to do the same mistake like they did before towards me.Life is so complicated.Full with depression,jealousy about others's success.Life is no longer a playground,and it's a jungle out there with though choices.People always told me to arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.Damn.

Fatal Is Near I think~

Things happened to fast without my expectation.Who wonder the life of painful plus the sin that I've done.Dear my darling,I still love you and always love you.Remember that!.Tomorrow I'm gonna return to the hostel.The sadness of life had come and I can feel it right now while posting this.So hate it or not,I must go on or if not I might  get the failure.The sickness can be feel every midnight when I was alone on my bed.Tears  gonna accompany me followed by the sorrowness like living in the black universe which was command by the evil :'( Nobody can feel it.Trust me,this is  not my first time living without my family.This is the second one or maybe the third.I can't remember it as well.While hearing to the music and the melody of the piano and violen,its make feel more better than before even for a while.Examination is around the corner and every night I stay up late recite the Quran and Yassin to  release my stress and pray to God so He which the most merciful and  the one who always forgive and guide me to the right path with''NUR'' just by remember to him. Without study,I won't success in my life,not just me,but everyone want a happy life and a successfull carrier for their entire life.Sometimes I always  read those sad story books because most of them were adapted by truth stories :( and I really,really hope I will past my  examination and I realised I'm not dummies,I just lazy to do it.Even in the midnight I'm kinda sleepy doing my revision, I still miss my home and blog.Sometimes those studies make  me stres like I'm living in the hell,but that's not what I want,I just need a happy life style which I can comfort my self and study at the same time.Some people might think I'm crazy because I used to adore many weirdo things such as HORROR MOVIE,STORIES..listen up folks ! Those stories is more precious than love story,But the  one that I loved is the SADDDESS STORY ~Life is simple but many people forget their sins ! So wake up people and live up the light in your heart with smile even it hurts.-PRINCESS SAPPHIRE SWARTZ

LIFE NO.DEATH YES!

So,life must be go on like usual.But wait,this time I'm not gonna post about him but the life of FQ.Yeah that's me.I've been changing school last year.It's quite hard for me to forget all those memories with friends and siblings :( The hostel was kinda bored.I'm just had a FAKE my smile so  everybody won't even know that I hate living in those prison.It hurts the most when all your life being  fully controlled  by the rules!rules!and rules! You can't be free as a bird out of the cage.Friends are just friends for me,but they were not my friends as AWIN,DIANA, ;(When I took my shower,tears came down through the cheeks.I WANT MY LIFE BACK ! I WANT WHERE I CAN STAY UP ALL NIGHT,HEAR THOSE SAD PIANO SONG..BUT hmmm*sigh* everything  was gone without my realising.Haters are always there even well I don't know what to type and lose ideas cause I can't control the tears which is coming out right now while I'm typing this.The teachers was quite okay,but I hate the course. that I TAKE.It's not my choice at all,but my parents who forced me to be in the Mechanical Engineering course.I wanted to be a DOLL FASHION DESIGNER  but everything  ruin .My sketches,my designs who wants it? No one want to see it.It's priceless said mom to me :'(I have no strength to continue all of this.I fed up with all of this.I have no life well you can see right? I'm being controlled by people around me to do this,to choose this,to wear this and so on ! Damn Shit! This is not gonna end like this.Dear My Lord,if this is the  test that you give towards me,I accept it it with  open heart even it's complicated.

SUCK!!!

Yes my blog is now look new fresh. All my previous posts has been deleted. And I've changed my template and everything on my blog has totally changed. Just to make it fresher than before.So let's the story begin...We used to be friends.. best friends.. you moved and left me alone in this cruel world.. even worse you left without saying goodbye.. i thought you had something towards me.. but i was wrong.. months felt like years without you.. i didn't forget you.. but i suppose you already forgotten about me.. months past you finally decided to contact me back.. but it wasn't like how we used to be.. awkwardness existed between us.. i hated it.. i consider you moved on.. so did i.. once i got a hold of myself you came back.. why? after all this time.. you denied our friendship.. you ignored me ...

What's the point to live anymore?

I start posting this follow by tears,loneliness,and feeling like I wanna suicide.I just hope and never stop,but the results are just the same.Why everyone treats me like this? I don't even know what had I done to them.I'm living in this sad world of mine since my parents decided to divorce .Sometimes, I can't stop thinking of them.Did they loved me as I did? Did they ever think about me? Surely nope~I rather die or get killed by them. I don't wanna live like this.Nobody wants too ,but this is what we called it FATE.In school,house,everywhere...I had been ignored by them.They used to make fool on me.I have feelings that maybe you guys can't even feel the same as I feel...I might be happy in front of my family,friends,siblings...but it just a fake smile of me :) I forced myself to smile,to cover the sadness  because it might bother you.But I thought it wrongs.They never treat me well.I just wanna end immediately.

THE TRUTH BEHIND THE LIES

The moment when I told you that I have moved on,I was lying.I told my friends that I have moved on,I told them I have forgotten all about you and I have no feelings for you at all but everything I told them wasn't true.After all this time I was just pretending and hasn't been a day that I stopped thinking about you.It's always you on my mind and it hurts.I really miss you but I'm afraid to make a call because maybe I would be a bother.It scares me to think that you don't wanna talk to me. Even though we are not together anymore,and how things have changed so drastically but my feelings for you have always been real.I still love you and always will.