It Hurts The Most

I hope someone will understand about me..it's really hurt when we didn't get what we wanted for.. i think it's very useful for me....i'm crying inside and nobody knows it..but,me! every night..just wish and hope...i can die soon.. it's about 4 years i've been through all of this...people always can see me smile..but did they know? between the smile..my heart hurts a lot! i can't stand with it anymore..everyday..i'm frustrated..remember all those craps things...my life are just SUCK!!!!.. full with pains,tears,grudge...but what can i do..just sit alone... cry..cry and cry...no one get it right? yeahh! i know.. i always makes a lot of trouble...i don't know..sometime i feel..i don't have family,friends..even i have them..i didn't wish to born in this world..no one can make me happy :( you guys think that i'm happy.. you guys thought it wrong.. it just a fake smile!fake!fake! i'm SAD! 4 YEARS GUYS! can you guys imagine that.. family problems,and other else..i wish i don't hve a father.he are just suck!holly shit!what? you guys wanna say I AM A RUDE DAUGHTER?..no i'm not! he doesn't care about me for 5 years..didn't call me,ask about me,meet me...and he just did nothing..like he don't hve a daughter...how sad am i...this is the worst thing for me! i hate him! i will never ever forgive him until my heart stop beating...i can't accept him in my life anymore...this is what we called FATE.. my life full with KARMA..yeah i know everyone hates KARMA..but my life ofthen with it..SO i think it doesn't matter...and thanks GOD for giving me the  pretty angel..my mom.. she always support me..but sometimes she kinda annoying..yeahh i admit it..friends are just like my siblings.. but all of them didn't know my problems!no one know. and no one will understand.. because they won't understand...i hope my life will get better....just hope~